Approximately 3 Minutes Inside the head of a business major

This is a blatant rip-off of my favorite blog post of all time, Approximately 3 Minutes Inside the Head of my 2 Year Old.

In identical style, each emotion lasts about three seconds and takes place while sitting in a college business course.

1. I do not care about this material.
2. Wow, I really do not care about this material.
3. It’s kind of ridiculous that I’m spending this much money on things I don’t care about.
4. My professor’s hair looks really good.
5. I wonder how much time she spends on her hair in the morning.
6. I mean, it always looks exactly the same.
7. Someday I’m going to have a real job and I’ll have to look presentable every day.
8. That’s going to suck.
9. Oops. Focus. Back to the PowerPoint.
10. This is a really bad PowerPoint.
11. Oh, hey, I read that statistic on Cracked once.
12. Geez, there’s a lot of words on that slide.
13. Oh, and she already changed it. Hope none of that was on the test.
14. The reading? Does she really think we did the reading?
15. No, of course I don’t have any questions.
16. But that guy does. There’s always the one who does. And we could have gotten out early today.
17. Oh, he’s cute.
18. No, keep talking, cute-boy.
19. I think every girl in this classroom is wearing a North Face.
20. Maybe I’ll sit next to cute-boy tomorrow.
21. Hahahahaha. Like I would do that.
22. What should I have for lunch today?
23. Do I have time to go home before work?
24. I really should have brought my leftovers to campus.
25. I wonder if I got a response to that text I sent right before class.
26. She totally won’t notice if I check.
27. Oh, hey! I did!
28. She totally won’t notice if I respond.
29. Okay, now seriously, back to the PowerPoint.
30. Yes, focusing. Taking notes.
31. Notes. Notes are important.
32. Who am I kidding? I’m never going to read over my notes.
33. Geez, that guy in the corner really needs to stop texting in class.
34. What, does he think no one notices?
35. Maybe this semester I’ll actually study my notes.
36. Yeah, and I’ll do all the reading for my classes and write all my papers ahead of time so I have time to revise.
37. Did she seriously just assign an extra 50 pages of reading?
38. I’m not even going to bother writing that down, no way it’s going to happen.
39. And speaking of things that are never going to happen, cute-boy has another question.
40. My love life sucks.
41. I hate men.
42. I hate this class.
43. Yes, self, but your life will only get worse after graduation if you don’t pay attention.
44. Now see, that wasn’t hard.
45. Good, and another slide. Taking notes. Racism is bad, and illegal in the workplace.
46. Sexism too. Good job. Title IX is important. Write that down.
47. Seriously? This stuff is so obvious my 12-year-old brother could ace the test.
48. I wonder how he’s doing. I should call him.
49. Oh, I need to pay my cell bill.
50. And the rent, and Avista, and the Comcast bill.
51. I really need to work more hours.
52. I need to start looking for a second job for this summer.
53. Adding that to my to-do list.
54. Oh, totally forgot about that paper for tomorrow. Good thing I wrote that down.
55. Well, guess I’m not sleeping tonight.
56. Back to the PowerPoint!!!!
57. Did she just copy-paste a paragraph out of the book onto that slide?
58. Oh, excellent, we’re going to watch a video.
59. A video about the most efficient way to organize a factory.
60. I do not care about this material.