13 Jan

Last night, after a delicious dinner with wonderful friends and a stop at the grocery store to pick up ingredients for tonight’s delicious dinner, around 8 o’clock, I found myself in a very bad mood.

For absolutely no reason.

Suddenly I wanted to snap at all of my friends. A dirty dish on the counter left me seething. Disagreeing on what movie to watch was just the least thoughtful thing a person could possible do. I was having feelings. Yet I knew they were completely unfounded.

I escaped to the other room, did some work (jobwork, not schoolwork), and went to bed halfway through the movie.

My point is, I am incredibly immature. I found myself wanting to cry and realized I honestly had no reason to be having these … emotions. Any other night, the exact same thing could have happened and I would have been ecstatic.

I blame it all on hormones. Whereas boys feel down because they are hungry, bored, or a failure at life, girls have a far more complex stream of emotions. Which may or may not make sense, even to themselves.

I can hold my own in an argument with anyone, except my parents. Two words from them in a slightly disparaging tone and I’m crying. “I don’t know why I’m getting all emo-emo-emotional like this,” I sob between tears.

Feelings not making sense, again.

I’m pretty sure that my emotions have no connection to what is actually happening in my life. My body is just like, “I’m bored. Let’s try anger! Now let’s cry! Does emotional over-eating sound good? That always solved all my problems before!” I’m left sitting there while my actions make about as much sense to me as a Czechoslovakian opera.

If I get mad at you and you don’t know why, it’s not you. It’s also not me. It’s the alien that took up residence inside my bloodstream when I was about thirteen.



One Response to “Ire”

  1. Amy January 28, 2012 at 12:20 am #

    I have the same feelings which I take out on those around me all the time. Numerous friends have told me that female moodiness is cured with the purchase of a vibrator. I have not tested out this method, but I am passing it along.

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