I Judge You When You Nap

28 Jan

I have slept twelve hours in a night on many occasions, and I find no shame in that.

Napping, on the other hand, I find simply unacceptable. Especially serial napping.

You know, the people who have a scheduled nap every day, usually lasting multiple hours. Why would you possibly do that? Do you not realize all of the things normal people are doing from 2 – 4 p.m. every day? Working? Going to school? Homework? Gym? Even hanging out with your friends is way more productive than napping.

The following generalizations do not apply to people who work night jobs, raise children, and take care of elderly parents. They apply to college students taking 16 credit semesters in Business (I can make fun of Business majors because I am one. In fact, look forward to a later post where I will do so in detail) while not holding a job. In this case, I am confident in saying: a napper is a lazy person. A napper does not have aspirations. A napper is usually fully supported by their parents. A napper drinks too much, studies too little, and is not someone I will have to compete with for a job (not only because of their general lack of drive, but also because in the post-graduation world, most employers don’t give you a three-hour window to nap in the middle of the day).

One of the most ridiculous schedules I know of is people who nap for three hours in the afternoon, stay up until 2 because they didn’t get their homework done earlier in the day, and then nap again the next day because they didn’t get enough sleep the night before. It is simply ridiculous.

You are allowed to nap if, and only if, you got less than five hours of sleep the night before. You are not permitted to nap more than once in a two-week period, because then you will make it a habit. My respect is much greater for someone who goes to bed at 8 p.m. after a long night than someone who naps through the afternoon.

Perhaps this is why I took it as such a compliment when I was on the phone with my mom, discussing my post-graduation chances of finding a job, and she said “You’re not a napper, that’s for sure.”



2 Responses to “I Judge You When You Nap”

  1. Amy January 29, 2012 at 2:11 pm #

    Nappers suck. This applies to my roommate.

  2. Alison January 29, 2012 at 12:04 am #

    1. I agree with your judgement of those who nap.
    2. I napped on Wednesday this week 😦
    3. I look forward to your post on business majors. it might be the highlight of my day.

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