2-MINUTE MEMOIR: The milk machine

15 Feb

When I was a sophomore in high school, I had a group of wonderful girlfriends that I ate lunch with every day. The table we were at was surrounded by about five vending machines, one of which sold milk.

One day, a man opened the milk machine to reload it. One of us, I don’t remember who, thought it would be funny to comment:

“He’s raiding the milk machine!”

We all laughed a bit, but it really wasn’t all that funny. Except to one girl, who nearly fell out of her chair laughing. We had no idea why until she finally got it out between fits of laughter:

“He’s raping the milk machine!”

For some reason, to us 15-year-old girls, this was HILARIOUS. We repeated it over and over, and then had a conversation about whether or not the milk machine man could hear us, and then whether or not he could hear us talking about whether or not he had heard us.

Then he walked away, never even glancing our direction. When he was out of site, one girl who had been particularly quiet commented:

“He was cute.”

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