other people’s friends are just as weird as mine

18 Mar

Before break, I had the fun and hilarious experience of being the outsider in a group of friends.

I went rock climbing with a new friend, and then hung out with him and a bunch of people he knows really well.

Sometimes, this can be awkward. But if the people are cool and you have the right mindset, being the outsider can be one of the most fun things ever, because you get to see how a whole group interacts.

Sometimes – and this sounds stupid, but it’s true – it’s easy to forget that other people also have inside jokes, and a whole history of funny stories that have happened when they were together. Hanging out with a group you’re not actually part of, it’s really obvious that recounting our shared past is the way we strengthen our bonds of friendship in the present, especially in a group that doesn’t get to spend much time together due to location or scheduling or whatever.

Other people’s friends are so much fun. Instead of rehashing your own stupid stories, you get to hear theirs. And you can learn a lot about a person through their friends – just knowing the kind of people they surround themselves with, plus the things their friends will tell you that they might not necessarily themselves.

Usually, in a room full of people you don’t know, there’s a bunch of awkward getting-to-know-you stuff. Meeting new people is fun, but when no one knows each other it takes a while to figure out what kind of friends you’re going to be, what kind of stuff you should talk about, all that jazz. But when you’re the only new one, you get to get a sense of the personality of the group on hyperspeed, and then jump right in.

Moral? I need to spend more time with other people’s friends.


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