“I’m a Grown-ass Woman”

17 May

Is a phrase that should never be uttered while wearing glitter eyeshadow and braces.

We went to see the 7:20 showing of The Lorax at the dollar movie theater tonight. Before heading over, we got milkshakes. So before heading to our seats, we decided to use the restroom.

This is one of those restrooms that has a lobby area right outside it. Just as I was exiting the actual bathroom area to wait for my friend to finish, a gaggle of girls walked in. There were about eight of them, and they looked to be about fifteen. They had strangely dyed hair, brightly colored eyeshadow, and were wearing crop tops when they really shouldn’t have been. With them was what I can only assume was someone’s mother, a matronly woman of probably about 45.

And this is the conversation I overheard:

Girl1: Dude I was so drunk last time I was here.

G2: Oh my god me too.

G1: I think it was Halloween.

Mom: What movie did you see?

G1: We didn’t see anything, we just walked in here.

G3: Yeah we just came back here to smoke and drink.

G4: You didn’t get caught?

G5: Duh, meth doesn’t have a smell.

At this point, my friend was drying her hands. She and I made eye contact and expressed our mutual shock at this exchange. As she walked out of the bathroom and we headed to the lobby, she said to me, “Middle school sure has changed since my day.”

We walked out and couldn’t stop laughing for about two straight minutes. At which point we had to tell the entire story to our third friend. We told him he had to wait so he could see how young these girls were.

As they walked out, they were talking to each other, making sure to be loud enough that we could hear.

“There they are. Them two bitches.”

“They think they can judge me.”

“I’m a grown-ass woman.”

“Who do they think they are?”

“Those bitches.”

“I can do what I want to, it’s my life.”

And the real kicker, from the mom.

“Just because they’re young enough to say things doesn’t mean you have to say anything back.”

Ignoring the fact that I’m not entirely sure what that means, I don’t think there’s any universe where 15-year-olds using meth is a good thing.

Also, I’m pretty sure that if you’re being chaperoned to the 7:20 Wednesday night showing of The Lorax, you’re not allowed to call yourself a “grown-ass woman.”

Still, we stayed in our seats until after they left. The last thing I needed was to get jumped by a half dozen teenage girls in the parking lot.

2 Responses to ““I’m a Grown-ass Woman””

  1. ianmulligan08 October 1, 2013 at 3:39 am #

    Watch out, The Lorax is a serious adult movie.

  2. Erin May 17, 2012 at 6:49 pm #

    Really random but we learned in my child abuse class that spokane has a huge issue with meth. That being said you could call cps on the mom if she’s letting her daughter do meth…blergg id want to punch her and all those girls

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