Closer Every Day

20 Aug

The Future, that is.

Have you noticed I write about it (and it definitely deserves Proper Noun Status) all the time? That’s because I have this terrifying thing coming up called Senior Year. There are a lot of proper nouns in my life right now, because everything is Big and Scary.

I have a pretty good idea of what to expect out of senior year. My job with the marketing department will continue. We will somehow produce 15 issues of the newspaper, knock on wood. I will take classes and write a thesis and spend lots of time hanging out with the amazing people I’ve gotten to know these last three years. Maybe I’ll even make some new friends – crazy!

Then, eventually (okay, in 265 days) it will be May 13. I’ll wear my stupid-looking “environmentally friendly” blue gown and listen to some speaker that Thayne has decided will make GU look good. I’ll walk across the stage of the arena while my little brothers are bored out of their minds, and then we will all go out for lunch.

Then I’ll pack.

And go – who knows? Back to Seattle? Off to some foreign country? To a job offer in some city I’ve never visited? Not at all, and stay right here where it’s safe for another few months?

I have no idea.

I have a couple ideas of what I don’t want (moving back into my parent’s basement for one) but no idea of how to get from where I am now to some place a year from now that will lead me on the road to the rest of my life.

It’s not a year away anymore. It’s less than nine months, and I am so terrified that I’m not going to do it right. At 21, it’s fine to be a mess. But then comes 22, and then 25, and then 30, and I feel like I’m already running out of time.

I’m not “just a kid” anymore. There are plenty of people my age out there doing amazing things. I hope I can survive out there.

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6 Responses to “Closer Every Day”

  1. ianmulligan08 July 31, 2013 at 4:21 am #

    You will do more then survive, you will thrive.

    I enjoy this post a lot. One particular line I enjoyed, “I’ll wear my stupid-looking “environmentally friendly” blue gown and listen to some speaker that Thayne has decided will make GU look good.” Ends up that Thayne was chosen to speak which created controversy throughout the student body. Then on graduation day he gave a solid and respectable speech. I am a little bit bias though after he replied to me on Twitter.

  2. carpenterh August 21, 2012 at 8:12 am #

    I’ll be praying for you and your fears about the Future. I know what it’s like to be graduating and to want to do something great but not knowing how to get there.

  3. Erin August 20, 2012 at 5:01 pm #

    Ack! 4 months and I’m off to the real world with no a clue what I’m doing!

  4. mollieamore August 20, 2012 at 3:40 pm #

    your going to land on your feet. Im a perfect stranger, but trust me. You’ll figure it out. GOODLUCK

  5. Alison August 20, 2012 at 2:51 pm #

    you aren’t allowed to talk about getting old anymore. because then it makes me feel old and now i know that there are only 265 days until i have to figure out what i’m doing with my life.

    • laurenkcampbell August 20, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

      But getting old scares me so much! So I write about it because then I get to share my terror with other people. And besides, you’re going to be a math teacher 🙂

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