Tag Archives: future

Everything I Write Is Dumb

21 May

On the internet, things last forever. My Facebook posts from 2007? Still there. The posts I started this blog with in 2012? Still there. Thank goodness I wasn’t active on LiveJournal back in 2004, otherwise I’m sure that would still be there too. Every awkward moment of my adolescence, every stupid assumption I made, every youthful complaint about some teenage boy – it’s all online, free for the finding.

People get ripped apart for the smallest thing, these days. People lose their jobs for things they post on social media all the time.

I keep my social media pretty tame: my Facebook and Instagram are very PG, and I very rarely Tweet. But I have this blog. And I try to write things that are real and true about my life – except for that’s really hard to do when you’re terrified not only that your boss could find it, but that, even worse, your boss decades from now could find it. When I’m in my 40s, I’ll surely find everything I write now to be inane, misinformed and annoying. What if some future potential employer pulls up some stupid post I wrote when I was 24 (what if it’s this one???) and then decides to not give me a job? Continue reading

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Minnesota

12 Feb

snow

Sometimes I wonder if this place I want to return to is a place that doesn’t exist.

Maybe it never did.

Maybe what I want back is a piece of my youth that’s less than a year old but still can’t ever be returned to.

Maybe what I miss is staying up too late, snuggled under blankets with my roommate, laughing and crying and talking about everything under the sun. Maybe I miss the fact that she was, that year, my person, the one who knew everything and understood everything.

She’s getting married now

And never calls. Continue reading

Stop wishing this away

6 Jan

It’s a January a couple years out of college, which apparently means it’s time for literally everyone to get engaged. Which, for the rest of us, leads to a swirling mess of self-doubt and wishing we could see the future and be reassured that things are going to turn out okay. Or is that just me?

Anyways, I definitely find myself wishing for time to move faster, all the time. Whether it’s the hours until the end of the work day, days until my next trip, months until I know what’s going on with my job, or years (decades? I sure hope not) until I’m a soccer mom, I just want to be anywhere but right now. Continue reading